Respite Support for Caregivers is Beyond Important
Written by Courtney Li
My world was shattered and changed overnight when my mom was suddenly diagnosed with a brain tumor. She had been having some bad headaches and couldn’t keep anything down. She went to the hospital multiple times. They kept sending her home with pain and nausea medication. When it wasn’t going away, my mom went in, yet again, and said her brother had died of a brain tumor and asked if they could do a brain scan. Soon after, the tumor was found. It attacked her brain so quickly that within a few days, she wasn’t her full self anymore. I drove home and immediately became a full-time caretaker for my mom. No one can prepare you for caretaking for someone you love so deeply.
I didn’t even have any time to process the trauma I was going through. I was constantly trying to be there for my mom as much as I could. I helped feed her, helped her get to the bathroom, tried to distract her from her pain, and took care of her some overnights and I didn’t get any sleep. I felt so much fear and was in so much pain emotionally. I was exhausted and drained and grieving.
We were very blessed to have some amazing friends and family who came to help us care for my mom. The breaks and support they gave us helped us make it through the days! Support, especially from those who had been through similar things was what helped me and my family make it through! Caretakers need and deserve so much support. Caretaking can take such a toll on the caretaker. Having support for the caretaker helps them to keep going and not feel alone.
I also work as a nurse at a respite care facility for kids with special needs! It is such a blessing to be able to give the kids we work with a fun, safe place to come, while their parent or caretaker gets a full weekend of respite. It is amazing to see how much of an impact we can have on the caregivers by just giving them 48 hours of respite. They constantly tell us how much it helps them recharge. It helps them to keep going and to provide the best loving care possible for their child!
Parents/Caretakers have told me that getting respite :
Helps them appreciate their child more
Has saved their marriage
Has given them the much-needed rest they needed
Has given them a chance to go out to eat or somewhere they don’t usually get to go
Helps them feel supported and not alone
We also have family support groups that come alongside the families. They have typical sibling nights, moms’ and dads’ Bible studies, moms’ and dads’ nights out, and more. It is amazing to see just how much of a difference we can make for caretakers just by providing the support that they need. No one should be alone in caretaking!
Courtney Li is a nurse who provides respite care support to families affected by special needs. She was also a caregiver for her Mom (pictured).